Am i being selfish?

Question

My SO and I live about 3,000 miles from his family. 
My family has come and visited me, but his family has not come to see him. This has made him depressed because he really misses his mother. His mother is the only one who works, so I understand money is tight for them. My family just left from visiting over memorial day weekend and he is suddenly pushing to go and visit his family. I don't have a problem with going and seeing his family at all, but he is not willing to plan it out very well. He literally wants to jump in the car tomorrow and go.
Reasons why I have a problem with it: 1. I'm 30 weeks pregnant. He doesn't want to stop at a hotel and waste time and money, he wants to sleep in the car when needed. 2. We have a 18 month old and I don't want her trapped in the car for 20+ hours. She gets cranky being in her car seat for an hour! 3. We just spent a lot of money hosting for my family and we still have bills that need paid. 
Am I being selfish in wanting to wait a week or 2 to plan it better and see where we sit financially before jumping headfirst into this? We have been fighting about and he is making me feel horrible like I'm keeping him from his family when I'm not at all...

Answer

Not selfish at all. You're 30 weeks pregnant AND have an 18 month old! A trip like that needs to be planned out in detail. You need to  be able to sleep in a bed too, not a car.

Answer

Tell him you need to plan, you're pregnant, have a child, and you cannot stay in the car to sleep. Back pain in pregnancy is no joke, I couldn't sit in a car that long AND sleep in it! You need to plan. You're not crazy, it's the truth. Just tell him y'all will make it to see them, but y'all definitely need to plan

Answer

Let him go with out ya! You need to walk around every couple of hours (I believe) ask your doctor...why not wait a few months then you can go visit them with the new baby!! But I feel his pain!! My dad has come to visit me twice in 8 years. The first time took him like 5-6 years to finally come. Then he came for my wedding...so I get super homesick and depressed. Just be sensitive to his feelings.

Answer

I would not sleep in a car now never mind 30 weeks pregnant x

Answer

You are 30 weeks!?!?

Girl...you are Not being selfish. That's insane to ask of a pregnant woman that late in the pregnancy.

I'm not pregnant but my friend is. She would need to stop to pee constantly 😂

Answer

I would do the same! You're not being selfish

Answer

I would tell him what a fantastic idea to visit his family....and then plan it out, rest stops included. It's not fair on you or your child to be cooped up in a car that long. I understand he misses his mum and wants to see her but what's the difference of you wait a week or 2 and do it properly?

Answer

It's not safe for you to stay in a seated position for that long this late in your pregnancy. You should stop and move around every 2-3 hours at least and you need to sleep in an actual bed. You're not being selfish at all. He needs to think clearly about this and realize that grown ups have to travel differently than we all did when we were 20. You're handling this the right way, stick to your guns

Answer

Neither of you guys are being selfish. You are right and he really misses his family. That can cause him to think irrationally. Tell him the only way you would go if you can take breaks in between and get rest. Y'all can try to compromise and if that doesn't work tell him it's OK if he goes alone because you understand he misses his family and you don't want him to think you're keeping him away from them.

Am i being selfish?

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