Excited...but not..

I am being induced next Wednesday for health reasons. I so badly want to go into labor on my own because this one is my last and I was also induced with my first. I keep hoping I'll go into labor and then totally panic thinking about how I actually have to go through contractions, pushing and having a newborn. Don't get me wrong I can't wait! But every time I get excited shit gets real shortly after😳😳😳😂😂