Sex before marriage??

Question

I was raised extremely religious and sex before marriage was out of the question. Now that I'm over 18, and no longer living with my parents I started having sex with my boyfriend. We used condoms because we knew a baby wasn't the best option for us currently. Now fast forward a few years, we're getting married next month and never got pregnant so no one really knows we've had sex. I was told growing up that sex would ruin the relationship, we'd be punished by God, we'd be dammed to hell, and it would be our biggest regret. 
But I've still yet to experience any negative feelings, I feel it made our relationship better. I truly in my heart don't feel I did anything wrong, hes my only sexual partner (and I was his) and my husband in a few weeks. Has anyone else from a super religious background had sex outside of marriage and not been racked with guilt or had it ruin their relationship? Is it all going to cone crashing down later? Why haven't I been punished yet?

Answer

I was raised Christian as well. I had sex before marriage and don't regret it for a bit. In all honesty, years later and we are atheists. I just can't buy into the guilt trips and bullshit anymore. It defies logic for me.

Sex is part of the human experience. It's part of human nature. Your value as a woman isn't determined by when you had sex. Don't base your worth on that crap. glad you found your love! Congrats on the upcoming nuptials

Answer

I'm Christian and was raised in the church. I started having sex in my early 20s. I've come to the conclusion that it's less about the timeline and more about monogamy. Sex is a commitment in that it contains the possibility of babies. Babies are a life long commitment, so you shouldn't have sex with anyone you're not willing to have a life long commitment with and to. Sex connects you to somebody in a way nothing else does. It makes break ups a hell of a lot messier and harder to get over. You carry more baggage. I think God's picture is for monogamy. I've had sex with 3 guys, including my current SO. I wish I had waited for him, not because the sex before was bad, and he doesn't make me feel guilty for anything, it's just I wish I could say his is the only body I ever think about. The images, the experiences don't leave you. They shape you, for better or for worse.

Answer

I completely understand your thinking on this. I was raised extremely religious, and planned on waiting for marriage to have sex (even had a purity ring). But after dating my now husband for 6 months, we decided to have sex. I don't regret is having sex at all, nor do I feel guilty. However, my husband did have sex with his previous girlfriend and that was hard for me to deal with the emotions connected to the thoughts of, "I waited for him, but he didn't wait for me..." etc. That being said, I think that if we hadn't gotten married and didn't have such a good marriage that I would regret it. I always tell my siblings and other young people that the risk of not marrying the person they're dating, or even engaged to, is too great to take that chance and have to live with the guilt later.

Answer

It breaks my heart that people have made you feel guilty. My husband and I waited to have sex on our wedding night, and we were so glad we did. However, our God bestows grace upon us. Your situation made me think of this article. The author is responding to another girls article. She has the link to the original article in this post. You should read both. Although the Bible makes it clear that premarital sex isn't okay.. It also states that lying is not okay, cheating is not okay, being jealous is not okay. Although we may see sins on different level, God doesn't see it that way. They're all on the same level. So regardless of the choices you have made, He still crazy loves you more than you can fathom. And whatever internal conflict you
may be feeling, you need to just go to God with it. I promise He is waiting with open harms, without judgement. Our God is not a god of confusion. He wants to you to have peace and joy. So just talk to Him about your feelings. Don't let people's opinions scare you. They're not God. And the real God is not going to beat you upside the head with a Bible. However, on a less spiritual note.. You and your fiancé may want to take a break from sex until the wedding night. It will make the big night so exciting after some time apart. And check out this article. It's got some good stuff in it.
http://phyliciadelta.com/i-waited-until-my-wedding-to-lose-my-virginity-and-its-the-best-thing-i-ever-did/

Answer

You haven't done anything wrong! Enjoy your engagement and best of luck for the future!

Answer

I'm 19 and I waited until I was married. For myself and because I knew it was the right thing to do. I'm glad I waited I wouldn't want anyone else. And I've been with my partner for almost four years. He's my high school sweetheart. And the good thing is God sent me down my perfect soul mate and he was also a virgin. I wouldn't want our first any other way. Who knows the only thing you can do is know God loves you and he knew you two for meant for each other. It's not like you were with 7 other guys. You knew where you stood in your faith. And that's what matters.

Answer

You don't need to feel guilty, hun. Don't force yourself to feel guilty either just because someone tells you that you're supposed to. You know your relationship, and if you're truly happy and you know you guys love each other and you feel that connection when you have sex then that's what matters.

I would think that starting to feel guilty about it just because of other people's opinions could cause some issues in your relationship.

Answer

It really isn't that big of a deal.

Answer

Having sex before marriage is equivalent to taking the Lord's name in vain. In the eyes of The Lord, a sin is a sin is a sin. One is not any worse than the other. I am sorry if you have been told differently or made to feel like you are now some unwholesome person because that is not true at all. I do know that waiting until marriage is what God asks us to do and by not abstaining, is sin. And although i would never encourage anyone to sin, I also know that I have sinned a multitude of times in my life and condemning another person based on their sin is not my job. I will be praying for you as you are about to embark on a wonderful journey of marriage! I am also praying that The Lord would reveal anything He wants to you, about this topic and the questions you have about it. Best of luck this year! :)

Answer

My husband married a virgin when he was too. Ended in divorce. He married another virgin. Also ended in divorce. All very religious.
I'm not. We slept together very early on. He liked that he was being so naughty as we weren't married. I thought we were just normal. We were normal. It IS normal.
He's not looked back since leaving that religion and now thinks how silly it all was.

Sex before marriage??

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