I need HELP!

Ladies I really could use some help. I have horrible anxiety and panic due to an illness I had for 2 years almost died multiple times... Finally I got a procedure to cure this intestinal infectious disease.. I also lost two children last year.. :( My SO is screaming at me daily because I complain about how fast my heart is beating and how I'm worried and stressed.. My panic I cannot control I'm on medication I've tried baths walking breathing music nothing is working for me.. He keeps saying maybe we shouldn't have gotten you pregnant .. That he can't be happy yet because all we have had is bad luck.. He took a ride tonight because it is to stressful when I complain about anxiety .. I don't know what else to do I cry my heart is pounding and racing .. I want this baby so bad.. And he's so negative and unhappy .. I don't know what to do .. We haven't been having sex his excuse is I want to feel love that he's not happy? I asked him, "So you're saying you're not in love with me anymore?" he said I never said I don't love you but I can't live like this anymore...??? I am so confused and broken my best friend/ my mom died in March unexpectedly at 50 she was all I had beside my fiance .. I am so lost please help me I feel alone and scared and depressed I miss my mom I want this baby but my SO is not being himself