2 questions about my new poly/ mono relationship:

- What do you do if you and your partner (together 10yrs mono) (He's newly poly) disagree about a sex act. I don't want him to finish in his secondary and for him to wear a condom. He previously agreed until she revealed that's one of her kinks. I feel like he has "flipped" on me and that's unfair! I dont think its too much to ask they dont do that. I view that as very intimate and want to hold onto ONE thing.

- He has revealed that he feels HE is "poly" but not okay with the idea of me finding a secondary (that's not the woman he has as a secondary). I am just really confused? Is this a common occurrence?