My SIL has a 3 year old son, my SO and I literally watched him for maybe 20 minutes and I became very frustrated with him. As a 3 year old he practically doesn't know anything! I have no experience for I am expecting my 1st child, but I have 2 siblings who have 3 kids each and their kids were never like he is. I babysat their kids and comparing I feel he's behind. I'm not saying my SIL kid is dumb or has mental issues (he doesn't seem to have any signs) but he only really knows how to say 5 words, can't dress himself, isn't potty trained and I couldn't handle it honestly. I know I make it sound like he should know a lot for being 3, but I was so shocked.

Before anyone says it's none of my business or I shouldn't talk about other peoples kids or whatever else:

She wanted me to babysit and I told her no, now she thinks that I don't like her and that I think I'm better than her. I tried explaining what I meant, but she hung up on me. I have enough stress in my life and I don't want to cause harm to my baby. My SO is the only 1 working (I'm looking for a job), money is tight, bills are piling up and I just couldn't handle her son on top of that. I know no one has to say:

"What you think is going to happen when you have the baby? You're going to be tired, stressed and everything!"

Believe me I know! My sisters have told me everything about their experiences with their children. My SO and I are talking about new living arrangements that are cheaper and will help with money. Also easier to provide for the baby too.

So am I wrong for telling her no?

Does it seem selfish?

I don't feel that it was and I feel I made a good decision, but I want to hear what you ladies think?