Im going through some things😔
I just need to vent guys, sorry for any spelling errors, I've been crying my eyes out all night. People are probably going to leave negative comments and judge me. I'm 16 years old about to turn 17 next month, and I'm 33 weeks pregnant and my due date is the day before my birthday, and my boyfriend just turned 21. We met when in high school, when I was a freshman and he was a senior. We've been together for 1 year and 9 months. He's my best friend, he's so mature, sweet, caring and funny, I get along with him so well! Okay here's the bad part, from day one I lied to my dad about his age... I told him he was 16 when he was 19 and my dad believed it. My dad always liked him and they were always cool with each other, my dad trusted him with me, it was always hard to keep his age a secret. Me and my boyfriend started having sex last summer after i turned 16. In November I found out that I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend the minute I found out but I was soooo scared to tell my dad. I had a trip planned to go to Mexico with him and his family over Christmas break and I knew if I told my dad then he wouldn't let me go with my bf. So I went to Mexico with him and I got my first ultrasound at 8 weeks, me and him were so excited to see our little one😊💕 so the first week of January we finally came back home and I was still scared to tell my dad. So it was January 30 and I was at my bfs house, and his mom was getting concerned saying I need to tell my dad so I can go to the doctor. So that night i told him and he was very disappointed but he was understanding. Then the next day my dad was trying to convince me to put the baby up for adoption or have an abortion but I kept telling him no, I'm having this baby if he liked it or not. So on that Tuesday I came home from school and he told me that he went to the health dept. to sign me up for medicaid and they asked who the my babies father was and he told them my bfs name and they pulled up his drivers license and told him that he was 20 years old (at the time) and that the insurance wouldn't cover me until my bf was arrested for statutory rape. My dad also said they threatened to arrest him for child endangerment for letting me be with my boyfriend. To me, some of the story seems to be fishy because my bf was never arrested and the insurance is covering me. So after that my dad said he was taking me to the police station to make a report and that my bf couldn't come near me or he's getting him arrested. He ended up not taking me to the police station. Every weekend my dad goes out and gets wasted, and while he's gone I would sneak my bf in the house so I could see him and so he can visit with our baby. On February 24th, I went to the dr and I found out we are having a girl😍 exactly what me and my bf hoped for! We were both so excited, I just wish he was there to see the ultrasound😞 of course he can't because my dad would never allow it. That same day my bf bought hundreds of dollars worth of clothes for her, a crib , bassinet, stroller and car seat and other baby things! Theres no way my dad would let him bring the baby stuff to me so its all just been sitting at his house. Every day my dad stresses me out telling me how i fucked up my life, and how im going to be a bad mom, it just stresses me out and makes me cry. A few months go by and a month ago my bfs mom messaged me and told me she wants to throw me a baby shower and we would make sure my bf wouldn't come because it would upset my dad. Btw his mom was like my mom, my real mom died of cancer 2 years ago, so shes been my mother figure ever since. I was so excited nobody has offered me something so nice! So shes spent hundreds of dollars buying gifts, booking a hall, making decorations and getting a cake made. I told my dad I was going to be having a baby shower and he thought it was a good idea, hoping we wouldn't have to buy anything for the baby shower. We haven't bought anything for the baby because my dad wants to wait and see what people buy for us. I thought that was selfish. I looked at the baby shower as a celebration of my little girl not just a day where l receive the things I needed for the baby. So my baby shower was scheduled tomorrow, on the 9th, and last night I went to get my nails done and I saw my bfs mom and his little sister there. I talked to them two for a few minutes and i turned around and my dad was right behind me. He started screaming at me when we got home saying "i don't want you around his family or I'm getting him arrested!" If you see them just ignore them!" He also told me he hasn't gone to the police because he didn't want my bf arrested but now he said he will if they come near me. He also said my bf and his family cant go to the hospital when I deliver. He also told me that he's going to the baby shower to make sure they aren't there, but the problem is that they are hosting it. Today I told them I wont be going to the baby shower, and i posted on everything that my baby shower is cancelled😔 his mom still wants to have the party though and thats fine with me. Now idk what to tell my dad, he's going to be like "oh they were hosting it huh?" And I'm scared he'll go to the police. I can't have my boyfriend go to jail , our daughter will have such a difficult life, and i can't afford to take care of her myself. My dad isn't going to help at all, he expects me to do it all by myself, but i cant without my bf😔 I'm only 16, and my dad took me out of school. I was so sad when he took me out of school, now i feel like i don't have a future for my daughter. Im just crying because idk what to do, i feel like i look bad for cancelling my baby shower too😔 my boyfriend just wants to help me out and be there for his daughter😞 i hate going to the doctor alone and I'm scared to deliver the baby by myself😔 I'm just scared, sad, stressed out and i just feel alone. I feel like my daughters life would be so much easier if my dad quit trying to be so controlling, and actually let my bf be in her life. I hate my life right now, I just want it all to end, but I know i have to be there for our little girl.