Afraid to test

Danielle • It *only* took us 4 years and 4 months of trying to conceive baby #1 on Christmas! Due mid-September!!
I'm 5 days past expected AF - my longest cycle EVER (which is so exciting!!) but I'm afraid to test bc every single countless result has been a BFN. I'm just trying to stay hopeful and positive!! Not ready to be let down again. Anyone feel me?