How do you feel about "staying together for the kids?"

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I think it comes from good intentions but I feel like kids will be happiest when their parents are happiest, even if that means being apart. Children are very perceptive and can pick up on things no matter how hard adults try to hide it.

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You must split up. "Staying together for the kids" is what caused me a horrible, traumatic childhood.

Do what is right for you so communication stays strong and positive. They (the kids will work with you that way. Don't stay for the kids. Please

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It won't work. The kids will know something is off and all you teach them is, that it's normal to stay in an unhappy relationship. Would you really want them to learn that?

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I am so greatful my parents split up. They weren't in love and they weren't happy so we weren't getting them at their best. I always swore I'll never be the type to stay together for the kids. If you aren't happy or in love you could be hurting your kids rather than helping them.

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I think a big effort has to be made. Splitting up should not be the first option when there are issues. Children are best living and being brought up under the same roof with mum and dad. For the kids, the effort has to be made by both parents. The couple needs to try their best to work things out because where there is a will there is a way. If all options have been exhausted and absolutely nothing else can be done to save the marriage then fine.

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Depends on how bad the relationship is and how old the kids are.  Two happy parents that are divorced are better than two unhappy ones in marriage. Usually.

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My dad tried to make it work with my abusive mother and I still feel bad for him. No LO needs to see that.

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Depends on the issues.

My mom and dad divorced when we were younger and I still remember being confused and saying "where's dad" "I want dad" "why aren't you with dad". I felt different than the other children who's parents were married.

But soon I got to visit Dad and started understanding why they split up and that things were better, and happier, this way. It helped me develop an understanding of healthy relationships and that it's okay to decide that something isn't working. Of course there were days where I'd fight with mom and wish that our more easy going dad was there instead of her, but that was a little angry kid's thoughts.

My mom is a hard working, always doing something, farmer. My dad is a city guy, very relaxed, gamer. They just didn't mesh well and ended things mutually. They're still friends today, and I definitely think that their divorce helped me experience new things and turn out better because of it.

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If you are constantly fighting and there is tension you need to split up because you will hurt the kids if you stay together in the long run.

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It's really circumstantial. My dad worked overseas from 1998 - 2008, doing 6 months on 2 weeks off, so I barely knew him and I feel like I met him when I was 9 years old. My parents got married in December 1992, so mum only knew married life for 5 years. They decided that it wouldn't work with them suddenly being a married couple after 10 years away from each other, and me and my siblings not really knowing him.

I couldn't imagine what life would be like living with my dad. I wish they had at least given it a shot, but this decision was better in the long run.

How do you feel about "staying together for the kids?"

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