I hooked up with a guy in February who is known in my school to sleep with a lot of girls. He's a senior, varsity football player, very attractive. He just texted me hey so I texted back and we just started talking about random things and he asked what I was doing that night and I said nothing and he said you should get out of the house and, though it was very unlike me, I said you should take me out of the house. I snuck out of my house and got in his truck and we parked behind a soccer field and we just had sex(spare you all the details). He didn't know I was a virgin so he thought I was used to hook ups. When it happened, I wasn't scared even though he was a stranger. There was just something about him that made me feel safe and secure. I've never felt like that.  After, we agreed to tell no one and that it never happened. He asked if we could do it again and I said yes but anytime I texted to see if he was free he said he was busy, so I gave up asking. I saw him in school all the time, we have mutual friends. I thought I would be okay with seeing him around because I didn't care about him, we had just met that night. But I can't stop looking at his pictures and I walked certain ways in the hallway knowing I would see him. I don't know what's wrong with me. He graduated yesterday and I thought I it would make it easier but it's not, I just want him more. I think I just need advice or something, I don't know, I just don't know why I'm feeling this way. It was so long ago and I still feel something, I don't know what it is.