I was at the bar tonight and someone told me about a bible app. I came home, downloaded it, and found an 8 week devotional for fertility. As I'm doing this and getting ready to pray a rosary, which is something I just started this week, I realized that here I am on a Saturday night more than willing to pray for almost two hours while at the same time wanting to post on here about how I'm losing my faith. While I teach and attend mass, I typically don't give much thought to other forms of prayer. Now...I'm sitting here with my rosary beads and realizing I may have found more faith than I have lost. I felt the need to share this. I'm still confused and incredibly frustrated (I figure if God is to decide because he is God, then I am allowed these emotions because I am human). I can feel however I want but it's amazing how my soul is kind of taking the lead even as my mind is wanting to give up.