Should I feel like this?

Question

9 days ago I miscarried I was a wreck for 3 days then I started to feel back to normal again I had kind of accepted what had happened to us.. But I've just found out my boyfriends friend and his wife have announced their pregnancy they're 8 weeks and due in janaury... I would be 8 weeks now and of course my due date was January... I feel like absolute shit again and I had been feeling normal today but since I heard that I can't stop crying now wondering why this has happened to us. I know I should be happy for them but I feel so jealous. Has this happened with anyone else? How do you deal with it?

Answer

I miscarried seven months ago. When my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant I was so angry and depressed. I still have a hard time being around her because all she talks about is pregnancy. Now my BFF is pregnant too and I just have such a bitterness because both of them were able to get pregnant quickly while I still can't get pregnant even though I'm trying. Jealousy, anger, and bitterness are going to happen because life just isn't fair. We just have to keep it to ourselves and love them regardless.

Answer

When I found out I was pregnant I was so freaking excited, my SO and I had been trying and we were so ready. I'm 34, so immediately I was labeled "high risk" and I was encouraged to tell my work in case I neede to take time off, Dr. Appt, etc.

My workplace is more like a family, so I wasn't concerned about it at all...I opened up to my boss (who is a woman) and told her I was expecting. Weeks later when I started bleeding and having issues, I explained to her what was happening, even going into detail about HCG levels and all.

2 weeks later I miscarried....that was on Mother's Day.

Fast forward to last week...the same lady I was pouring my heart out to, well...turns out..we were about 2 weeks apart in our pregnancies.

Hers is healthy, mine was not.  It killed me, one because she didn't align with me, or let me know she understood how scared I was. Secondly...I felt stupid for explaining things that she OBVIOUSLY knew...and now, I'm happy for her...but there days when I am definitely bitter.

Grief comes in waves...I have good days and bad days. I make sure to tell someone how I'm feeling on the bad days, and i make sure to give myself a huge dose of positive affirming "you got this girl" on the good days.

Go easy on yourself, let the sadness come, and then let it go. It's ok to live your life, and it's ok to be upset.

Miscarriage is a strange beast...and the experience is different for everyone. I do know that taking about it...makes it better.

We are here for you...xoxo

Answer

I understand completely. I found out at about 10 weeks that friends of ours were due around the same time, in late November. I miscarried at 11 weeks, her pregnancy is fine. What gets me the most is that theirs was unplanned and "too soon" whereas we've been trying a while and very much wanted this baby. I'm not going to lie, it's still tough for me seeing her pregnant, but I'm not as resentful as I was and I can cope with spending time with her. The hurt will lessen over time, be strong.

Answer

I know I'm probably weird but my best friends are due a week after we should have had our baby. I'm so overjoyed for them and so relieved that they have managed to have a safe pregnancy that it has actually helped me. I am just happy I that a new little life will be born in November and if it can't be our child, then the next best thing is for my best friend to have a healthy baby.

Answer

Absolutely understand!!! Your human and sometimes it's those small things that bring you back down. I'm sorry!!

Answer

I know exactly how you feel!!!!! I was 8 weeks and due in January and I miscarried. I feel like I'm starting to get back to normal but out of nowhere I start bawling. It's hard to see your friends pregnant knowing that should of been us. I don't know why it had to happen to us.

Answer

This happened to my husband and I. I miscarried and 4 or 5 days later our friends announced they were pregnant and we would have been due at the same time. It hurt very badly, and I couldn't even face them at church that weekend. It gets more bearable but it definitely hurts. I still think about the fact I would have been almost 20 weeks now. I am now pregnant again with our rainbow and just turned 13 weeks, so I am right behind her.

Answer

It's perfectly normal and absolutely fine to feel sad and jealous. I had those feelings as well after my miscarriages. I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you! 💗💗

Answer

After I miscarried I would break down every time someone I knew became pregnant. It was constantly questions why I couldn't have one and they could and so on. You need to give yourself time to heal and that's all just part of the process. If you need to cry or question things I did and it really helped. Now a year later I am pregnant again and it scares me that I could lose it but I keep thinking positive thoughts. I knew my time would come but it was hard to believe when I had went through the miscarriage.  Keep your chin up and don't forget to let your body and mind heal from this. Good luck.

Should I feel like this?

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