Biggest Regret Ever

lucy
Just writing this really because I need to vent and to know if anyone else feels the same way I do. 2 years ago I was 19 and at university when I fell pregnant with the my ex.
As I was at uni and he was about to go off working around the world felt that it wasn't the right time, not just for us, but for that child, and we therefore decided to have an abortion.
Shortly after my I fell in to a deep depression, not leaving my house for 3 months, not sitting my degree exams and even trying to hurt myself.
2 years on, and I'm still really struggling. The worse I feel, the more I want to get pregnant. I feel a huge sense of regret and anger with myself. 
My new boyfriend is very supportive of what happened, but the depressed/regret feeling can hit at any point and I feel like sometimes he doesn't quite understand why.
If anyone has experience similar, please feel free to comment.