Basically I was really close to a boy that literally meant everything and more to me for 5 years, everything was perfect until early last year, he got more hours at work and started being very distant to the point where we went from talking every day to the point that I was lucky to have 1 conversation in a month. From having him in my life everyday to rarely at all because he was busy really hurt because he really means the world to me, once we hadn't spoke for 2 months and not even hello or anything despite me messaging him every now and again saying hello and asking how he is. I felt pushed away for no reason at all, and being a girl that likes to feel wanted and special I went to find that feeling elsewhere and I did eventually meet someone who took my mind off him, but I'd still text him and see how he was all the time, (still getting no reply from him) things changed massively and we didn't talk for ages and i got into a relationship with the boy that I got close to. But now me and the boy aren't together, a year on. Still all i can think about is the boy I've known for years. I still text him and we have spoke on and off over the year, but he's hurt because of what i did (as he says I betrayed him and hurt him) I know this. I've apologised so so much, but nothing I do can make anything better. I'm aware this makes me an awful and horrible person. But I love him, he means more than anything to me.