Trying to do what's best but feel like failing

Morgan * married 9/16/11 * first born 5/19/16 💙 * Second 1/21/19 💙

Trying make this short but could use some advice, thoughts, opinions and support.

My LO is 4wks today. As a FTM and first time breastfeeding it took a lot of work to latch him but was shallow at hospital. Nurses gave me nipple shield to help. LC worked with me to keep using the shield for week or so but then would take away. Before could take away, meet with pediatrician and found he was not gaining weight well. Went back to LC, found that he was not transferring through the shield so definitely had to take away. Got better latch with her but after four day weekend home I couldn't get that same perfect latch all the time and was so sore and red. Saw LC for third time, found he has a slight posterior tongue tie, but not the kind you can snip in doctor's office (saw specialist). Would bleed and need stitches. 😭Basically, his tongue can reach but, if he doesn't put in the correct spot and his chewing on me with his gums thus my pain and soreness. Specialists thinks with time and growth he would learn better.

Since then, daytime feedings offer breast first but pump and give back to him after. Especially with the initial weight loss trying to catch up. Night feedings EPing and giving bottles.

Sometimes he is still hungry even between breast and what i can pump and supplemented with formula. Cant stand to see him cry.

But with this mix of BF, pump and formula I feel like every hour I have something in my nipple making my healing process slow. Plus i am not a fan of using formula.

What can I do?

One, I want to EBF but takes hr to get a decent latch and feed. Does anyone have experience with this type if tongue tie? Will he grow and learn? How long did it take? How long for me to fully heal?

Two, i offer both breasts, pump and sometimes LO is still hungry. How I can I up my supply? Taking fenugreek, eat fairly healthy, lots of water. I know sleep and stress can effect, trying to relax and just do what is best from my LO.

If could BF then that wouldnt have to pump so much (pumping 8-10 times a day. First earlier morning pump at 2am feeding get 4.5oz but the rest of day get 1.5 - 3oz, less if offer breast first. 3oz if EPing a feeding)

If BF and less pumping and get supply up no more formula 😊

It's like a domino effect the last couple weeks. I want what's best for him but feeling like I am never going to rest, relax and bond with trying to do all this. Just feels like i am a failure and I don't want to give up but how long til this gets easier?