Problems reaching orgasm

I've been told a million times that it's normal and nothing to worry about. I've been told even more that I need to relax or that it's a self esteem issue. that I'm too much in my own head. 
I've never reached orgasm through penetration alone, ever. I feel pleasure from sex but for me it's like asking if you came from getting a foot rub. 
the only time I can get there is by stimulating my clit (vibrator, my hands, other hands, etc.). now I'm in a relationship with a man who is incredibly patient and understanding of this so he always makes sure that I'm first. 🙌🏻 bless him. 
my trouble is that sometimes it takes me FOREVER. and I'd like to find ways to be stimulated during penetration with the end goal being to have an orgasm during sex. 
any tips? advice? shared misery?