This Guy Has a Girlfriend
So, recently, I've started putting myself out there and getting to know more people. There is this one cute guy I've known about and seen around for maybe for half a year now but we never interacted much outside of saying hi to each other. About maybe a week ago, he randomly messaged me asking if I was free to hang out that night because he was in my city. He lives about 50 miles away, so it was a rare occasion. So, I go and meet up with him and we had the best time just walking and talking around the city. At one point, he said he loves driving and wouldn't mind driving all that way just to hang out with me. I was sure he was flirting and I was super excited because I had a small crush on him for awhile now too. So, when he dropped me off, he mentioned he had a video game tournament in his city in a few days. I told him since he came to see me that I should go and see him. So, I did and I completely regret it. It was a very awkward environment to hang out in because it was just him competing against other guys in an arcade and me sitting in a corner watching. However awkward it was, I tried my best to make it enjoyable so I kept asking him questions and cracking jokes when he wasn't busy competing. At one point I made an innapropriate joke and he winked at me, so it made me hopeful that maybe the night wouldn't be as bad as I thought. A bit later, we were just browsing our phones talking about random stuff and he gives me his phone to listen to a funny video. The arcade was loud so he suggested we go outside and watch it. As I started moving outside and watching it, he got a text from someone named Mai and all it said was "don't flirt". This absolutely struck me it the worst way. I didn't know how to react, so my inmediate reaction was to pretend I never saw it because I hate it when people snoop through my private stuff and I didn't want to give him the notion that I was. I pretended to laugh at the video and immediately gave him back his phone. As he was messaging someone (presumably the girl that just text him), I sauntered off somewhere close by and tried to think. I tried rationalizing any scenario that some girl would message him not to flirt and all I could think is that he might be cheating (mentally, at least). I checked his Facebook and sure enough it said he was in a relationship... and her name isn't even Mai. I was breaking down at this point and I just didn't know how to feel. Here I am, 50 miles away from my home, I can't even drive so I took the train, pretending to enjoy the night for this guy that's possibly cheating on his significant other. It took every ounce of my being to go back in the arcade and just pretend to be okay about everything. He was busy competing so I just bought a few tokens and tried my best to take my mind off of everything. After awhile, he found me playing Fruit Ninja and joined me. I noticed he didn't have the same tone he usually had with me and didn't pay attention to what I was saying as much as he used to. I guess he took Mai's advice to heart. Eventually, he drove me back to the train station and it didn't surprise me that his hug goodbye wasn't as sincere either. I walked over to the train station and just started tearing up. I just felt so stupid going through all of this just to have that happened to me. I even feel especially stupid being this upset by all of this because I'm not even that close to him. I'm thinking that I'm just being emotional but every time I think about the situation, it just makes me way more sad than I should be and I have no idea why. It doesn't even make sense, I could live the rest of my life not saying another word to him and I'd be fine with that, so why am I this sad? Anyway, I apologize for this extremely long post, I usually put a lot of detail when I explain something so no one misunderstands me. I don't really know where else to post about this.
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