So my bf of close to a year, just broke up with me. At first I was pretty heartbroken, but I realized that I deserve someone who will be as much in love with me as I am with them. My ex hated when I showed any affection, refused to have sex with me 4 months into the relationship(after we had been having sex for a loooooong time before then) because I was "hurting his relationship with God," he told me my hair and the way I dressed was "impractical," he'd choose to spend time with me by his own choice and then got mad because he was missing out hanging out with his family, and he would blame me for not getting his shit together for school in terms of grades. Honestly, I know I'm way smarter than dealing with that, and I knew all the warning signs that were there:/ I guess I just really wanted to have someone and show them love, ya know? What really sucks is having this kind of love that you're longing to give, and when no one wants it, it becomes like stagnant water and that toxicity backs up your thoughts; making you more untrusting and cynical as each rejection comes along.