Heartbroken and confused

Heartbroken by the love of my life never felt so insecure just had two beautiful babies 11 months apart felt so attractive before I got pregnant gained weight not feeling sexy husband went looking for beautiful women online on sex sites and I found out he had profiles on many of them not feeling good enough anymore lost my smile don't even feel like being a nurse anymore that's my career our infant baby girl has a heart condition needing surgery and I'm feeling so alone