I need to vent: half of me feels completely guilty about my concerns and the other half is very stressed that I am walking into a situation where I know what to expect and can't prevent it.

Here goes:

My mom and step dad will be coming to stay with us after my twins are born. She has told me she wants to deliver my babies (not gonna happen) and has told me her requirement is to see the babies within 8-10 hours of their birth (doable but I don't want her there while I am laboring). Because my step dad molested me as a child, I have been clear with my mom that he is never to be alone with my children. He also smokes and I don't want the babies to be exposed to his clothing or smoke covered hands so I will have to ask that he wear something over his clothes if he is going to hold them.

She started emailing me today about the food she wants to freeze and bring up - food that neither my husband and I will want to eat. Ever. The meals she plans to cook aren't meals we would ever choose either. I know she wants to help and is excited to have grandkids but the molestation situation has left me in a place where I don't trust her judgement and struggle with the idea of having my step dad near my children but have said she can stay for a week (she is planning for 2 in case I change my mind). I am sure it will be very helpful having her present to help with changing and burping and laundry and cleaning but it feels more stressful having her and my step dad present than the relief she will be able to provide in those early days.

/End Rant