I'm 23 yea old have 2 boys 6&7 from a previous relationship (left due to domestic violence) been with my current partner for 4 1/2 years and we really want our own baby, I fell pregnant after 2 1/2 years trying in April and it was ectopic 😭 had to have methatrexate so can't even try until August (I should be 16 weeks now) but I've just moved house so boy have there own room and started a new job so now my partner wants to wait before having a baby now :/ sometimes I agree sometimes I don't I'm not sure how I feel about waiting 😭 I've struggled to be happy for anyone getting pregnant I hated it got really jealous but now my best friend 16 years has just told me she's 8 weeks pregnant and I put a front on and pretended to be really happy for her but I was really upset and sort of pissed off too and now trying to avoid her cause I don't want to put a downer on her news but just can't be happy for her :(:( why am I so cruel!! How do I stop feeling like this :(