I don't wanna break down but I feel as though life is repeating it self. I'm 26 and pregnant the father of the baby told me all these wonderful things before we even got the baby and now he's absent and I only talk to him through fb messenger. I just don't get it I done nothing wrong it just feels like he got me pregnant and disappeared stating he would come around or we would probably get back on track before the baby and now I'm stuck missing work , being sick, going to appointments alone I'm just ready for it all to be over so I can get my spiral feelings under control. Said thing is when I was 18 pregnant with my daughter her father done me the same way. I can't help to think but why me , why do I have to go through this emotional stress. This baby would be my rainbow baby and why do I have to go through this alone. I've done nothing , nothing at all. I try to be strong but at night it depresses me. The changes I have to go through. Idk I'm just venting for once finally and this baby is a boy and he wants me to name him after him like hell and then I just found out I'm a carrier for cystic fibrosis and he needs to get tested but he wants to go on his on time and we have to wait for this grown behind man to get an ID idk I feel like I might just lose it. I believe in the Lord but why is this happening to me what lesson is it teaching me 😩😩😢