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Ouch!!!!!! Post breakup...7 year relationship

I shouldn't get to complain, I'm the one who chose to end it. He was kind and sweet and he loved me. We went through a lot of shit together.

I put up with a lot. He put up with a lot. I know I made him a better person. Maybe even saved his life.

But after 7 years I was tired of being stuck in the same place. I was drained from the constant struggle. And the sacrifices I continued to make by choosing to stay.

It wasn't his fault. He was my best friend. I loved him. I supported him. I helped him.

Too much.

He embarrassed me with his behavior in front of my friends. He humiliated me. So I distanced myself from them to protect our shared delusion.

Now we are over. I chose it. And I'm sad and lonely on a Friday night.

I'm attractive--and more importantly I act like I'm the hottest thing you've ever met, so all the guys believe my bluff and that's how they see me. I could have any one of several guys here in a second.

I miss my friends. My girlfriends. The good ones and the bad ones. And the ones that I should have been better to, that I would have been mature enough now to appreciate enough, to treat them as my #1, like the queens they are.

The guys.....whatever..... Yes I loved them.

The girls--they are the ones I should have put first.

Now I'm lonely and it sucks, but I can take it.

I deserve to be lonely.

It's so hard starting all over, by yourself, in a new city, with a new good job. And I'm grateful for this opportunity, but fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.....

...am I fucking lonely.

But I know I'm smarter for this and I'll be stronger for this, and despite the inevitable pain, I'll be better because of this.

I shouldn't get to complain when I chose this and I know it was right.

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 7 years! Fuck!

If anyone has suggestions on how to meet new friends as an adult, or if any other women are looking for friends on here, just say so in your comment and ill add you and you'll know who I am.

You can tell me anything, I've experienced a lot and I would never judge you. And whatever you reveal to me I'll be even more revealing and honest with you.

Or, if you have any tips for making new friends as an adult I would love to hear your advice and experiences.

I have so much love for all the brave women on here!!!!

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