So today is my grandmothers funeral. While I was hanging out with some family members, my aunt informed that another niece is pregnant. I rolled my eyes and said, "That's just fucking great." I already had a difficult time going into my grandmothers bedroom to look through pictures and things of hers, now I have to face 2 cousins today that are pregnant with #7 and #4. Apparently everyone else can breed like rabbits in my family except for me. I know I know we're doing <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> this upcoming week, but I can't help but feel envious that they get to have a "free" baby. I'm gonna try my best to smile and chit chat with everyone but I can't help but feel broken. I'm the last of the girl cousins to have children. My grandmother had 16 grandchildren and 26 and counting great-grandchildren. I want to have a baby even more to honor my grandmother by giving our daughter (god willing) the middle name Pearl. Hopefully this summer I get that chance! This is my grandma Pearl at her 90th birthday last October.