What do I have to do?!

Every month about a week before my period I get an early pregnancy symptom. This month I was very nauseous and lightheaded, then I started spotting so I thought I might be pregnant. I tried to put it out of my mind so not to get my hopes up then I got af today. Last month my breasts were very painful (which they never are) and the exact same thing happened I was spotting then af. It's like someone up there is playing a weird made you look game with me. And my best friend is about to undergo her 3 rd abortion and it really kills me. Why can't I have that too? I'm married and ready.