Hello Ladies!

My names Ashley and I'm 29 years old. My fiance and I have been trying to conceive for about a year with no luck. All of my life I've had normal periods until 2 years ago, they became very irregular and very heavy. Last January I found out I had cysts on my ovaries. My doctor removed them and put me on birth control to regulate my cycle and it seemed to work. Fast forward 7 months (last August) I made the decision to stop taking my birth control and we began attempting to get pregnant. This January we moved and I lost my wonderful ob-gyn. My tribe is currently trying to find me a doctor in my area but they are definitely in no hurry. So here we are trying to do what we can on our own. The last few months have been very stressful and I had almost given up. My 30th birthday is rapidly approaching and it bothers me that even though it's been something I've always wanted, I still have no children. I stopped tracking my cycle, had sex less and less and I avoided any type of baby talk. My current predicament is this, I do not clearly remember when the last time I've had my period. (it use to be at the beginning of the month). My fiance believes that I didn't have a period this month and keeps asking me if I'm pregnant. However, I cannot bring myself to take a test.... I do not want to be disappointed again, or to disappoint him....

Feeling anxious in Oklahoma