I just feel like a hormonal train wreck, and the medications I've been taking for over a decade to help with my PTSD and other umbrella symptoms (depression, rapid mood swings, and panic disorder are the main ones) aren't safe to take during pregnancy since they're designed to block certain neurotransmitters, and I'm not doing so well with coping with the influx of hormones.. added to that is my anxiety makes me afraid to ask people about what's going on inside me, what's normal and what isn't and it's overwhelming. I feel like I'm losing my mind but I want this baby so much and I want him/her to be happy, healthy and whole. Half the time I don't know if I want to laugh, cry or scream. I just wish I felt more like "me" again instead of this weird autopilot mode I seem to be on. I'm afraid of this pregnancy and logically I know I shouldn't be, but I am. My whole world is changing even as some parts are crashing down around me..