So we have been ttc for 2 years now! I was 3 days late and I had high hopes only to find out I got my period. I fall asleep crying with out my fiance knowing. That day I told him that hopefully if his aunt has a baby and she loses custody that we can adopt her(his aunt is a drug addiction with a criminal record).

I searched her up on Fb and I found out side was pregnant on her 4th kid. I showed my fiance and he was so upset. He said it's not right how his aunt has fucked up in the past by having 3 kids and leaving them just so she can be free on be on drug while the family watched her kids with out knowing anything about her and to find out that she's pregnant again and yet we are here doing good and we can't get blessed. I told him I don't understand how people can have kids and just forget about them. It hurts me so much that we want a baby and we just can't have one. But she's doing drugs and ignoring her 3 other kids like nothing. I told him hopefully if they take this baby from her we can adopt her. I can image myself being a mother and feeling so much love that I haven't felt since I lost my son. Since I lost my son i feel like a piece of me is gone and no matter what I do I just can't be happy! My soul is so hurt by his lost. I pray that this sadness can go away even if we have to adopt. It will be 4 years since we lost him on October.