So my fiancé and I have been together for almost 5 years on and off, he had a lot going on with his mom (she had stage 4 breast cancer) and he kept pushing ppl away , which included breaking up with me and getting back together with me every 2-3 months. I suffered a lot with him honestly. I felt so worthless when I was with him, ppl really didn't understand why I would keep running back. So last year in March of 2015, he broke up with me because he said he wasn't "fit" for a relationship. 2 Months after that in May I got my hands on some screenshots of him wroting paragraphs to this girl about how she was perfect in every way ect. That made me feel like complete shit because not once had he done something like that for me. At the point I let myself go, started messing around with two-three guys at a time. I was a mess. I just felt the need to be appreciated no matter what the cost. In a turn of events my fiancé  and I got back together and he has been nothing but a dream these past few months. He treats me like a princess and he says its because he has "grown up". I see the difference. He's crazy over me now. About two days ago he was looking thru my <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">period tracker</a> app and he saw all my intimate dates, even the ones when we weren't together. At first I tried to play it off like it was a mistake but then I just admitted it. But I told him it was only after I felt anger towards him because of what he had said to that other girl so soon while i was still in pain about our breakup and he began to cry. I felt so bad. But at the same time i let him have how he made me feel for so long which only made him cry even harder. He told me how he was so in love with me and it was his fault that things had turned out the way they did. He's been treating me the same since then, tending to all my needs and what not. But for some reason im still paranoid about him not seeing me the same. I feel super bad for lying to him about being with other ppl in an intimate way while I wasn't with him.