Would you get involved with someone who has kids?

Question

I saw this post and I personally am sad at it. I wouldn't want to date someone with kids because I'm young and I hate baby mama drama . I also hate the thought of a child calling me mom when I'm not his mom. If the roles were reversed I wouldn't want my child around anyone who isn't his father. As well as all the rape stories you hear about step parents. I know not everyone is like this so just seeing everyone's thoughts.

Answer

You've got one hell of a narrow view of the world. But by all means, please, don't date someone with kids and subject them to your negativity and very inaccurate perception of life. My husband is my sons stepdad and is the best thing to ever happen to him. He's a consistent father who is there for him in every way, whereas his biological father has abandoned him all but 24 hours per month and messes with his head every time he sees him. As far as "drama", you can ask my husbands ex wife what she thinks about me-- she and I spent an hour texting last Saturday because she wanted to thank me for what a great stepmom I am to her kids and I told her I have wonderful children I consider just as much my own as my husbands, hers and their stepdad's, and I think it's a team effort and we are all doing a great job working together for the best of the children. Not every situation is filled with bullshit just like not every stepparent is a horrible child molester. But from the sounds of it, you're really not cut out to love a child you didn't create-- so please, stay far away. Children deserve true love.

Answer

I am a product of having a "step" parent. Best thing my mother did for herself and me. I saw a healthy loving relationship growing up. I saw how a man treats a woman he loves. I saw a hardworking man provide for his family. My life would be drastically different if I didn't have my "step" dad. I don't even call him step...because he's my dad.

I am currently dating a man who has children. That if anything has drawn me more to him because he shows me he knows how to be a father and a great man. The relationship he has with his children is beautiful.

Also about the baby mama drama, it's only present when he allows it to be. I don't have those problems because my BF won't allow it.

Open your mind up a little bit. If you have a preference that's fine but don't judge a whole group of people from some highlighted horror stories.

Answer

I don't want kids at all. Therefore I don't want anyone else kids. I actually didn't date a guy because he had 3..hell no!!

Answer

I have never called my step mum that - I call her by her name

Answer

My boyfriend has two kids and they're his world. The marriage not working doesn't mean the kids should suffer. He's my best friend in the entire world and I love his kids even though I'm nowhere near ready to have any of my own. And any drama we have from their mom is just petty crap that we both can see right through. She doesn't want him to be happy and will call him just to tell him how worthless he is and try and tear him down but he would rather deal with that than not see his babies. It's not always sunshine and rainbows but the kids didn't ask to be born and I think they're better off seeing their parents happy with other people than living together and fighting all the time. They have a mom so they use my name and it works for us. They call her boyfriend Mr. ___ and it works for them. As for your step parents and rape comment, that's just ignorant. There are lots of sick people in the world but if you're worried about that you need to also worry about everyone else. Friends, neighbors, teachers, priests, bus drivers, etc.

Answer

Already am! 
I am a step parent, and I love it. I love my step son like my own... But this isn't for everyone. There were so many rough patches, road bumps, and disagreements along the way with my husband and I.  It wasn't easy, it's rarely ever easy. But it got better. We have a blended family and all the adults get along great.

Answer

So your saying if two parents split up then the women should stay single cuz the child should not have a step parent? Ridiculous! Me and my ex split up he is the father to our three kids and my new partner is amazing!! He treats the kids as though they were his own he knows we come as a package and he wouldn't have it any other way! Takes an amazing man to come into a ready made family and love us all like he has always been there! They still see there dad all the time to.

Answer

I have been in 2 relationships where both guys had 2 kids by 2 different women and I can honestly say I will never again be with someone who already has kids. It isn't for me

Answer

I would never get in a relationship with someone who has kids because I saw how hard it was for my dad to raise us since we're not his biological children. However, I didn't know about my SO having a kid with someone else until a month into our relationship, and by that time I had already completely fallen for him so I had no choice but to accept it. I still hate it and I always will but I've learned to deal with it.

Answer

Well first off, it's highly unlikely that the kid would call you mom unless you want it to, or the bio mom isn't around and you take on the role. Second, at the 25+ age mark, "baby mama drama" doesn't exist. I'm 27. I'm married to a man with two kids, never a peep from baby mama.

I'm also a baby mama myself, and can tell you with full on honesty, unless you do harm to, try to put yourself in front of, or do anything to upset my child, I couldn't care less about your existence. You wouldnt hear a word from me.

There's nothing wrong with dating a person with kids. Just understand that they come first, just as his family would come before you anyway.

Would you get involved with someone who has kids?

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