Over it all

I'm am 33 trying to have my first child with my husband of almost 4 years.  While I am still in my tww I feel my body getting ready for AF to come. I feel so defeated and honestly heartbroken. My 2 best friends on earth are both pregnant and they just practically looked at their husband got pregnant. While I'm over here trackingy cycle and trying desperately to get pregnant. I'm so happy for them. But with tears welling in my eyes I selfishly want the same. I feel like I'm being punished for waiting so long to try. And even though we have only been trying for a short time I am so over the stress heartache and frustration. And with every pregnancy announcement I just feel lower and lower. Why can't I have my happiness too? 😢💔