Am I being selfish?

Question

I don't want to move to where my significant other lives because we would have zero support except from his friends family, who I only met once. I keep being told I'm over reacting and that they're my family too. But they aren't. My s/o has no idea the struggles and stress a new born brings onto people. I'm not comfortable with leaving all my support behind just to move to be with him and be even more stressed out than I already am.  I feel like it would be such a bad idea and my s/o is stubborn and it's his way or no way.

I keep telling myself it's just him panicking but the other part of me thinks he won't budge and I'm going to have to do this alone.

Answer

I think you should stay where your mother is. In my culture mothers take care of their daughters after they give birth. Myself have no mom anymore and this is the most concerning thing.

Answer

Honestly your gut instinct is never wrong. If their is a reason you don't feel comfortable then don't do it. All this crap about it's your duty to follow your husband is bullshit. Your duty as a mother comes first and foremost. It's your job to protect and nurture your baby if you don't feel that moving away is best for you and babe then stand firm and hold your ground

Answer

You need your support.  A my way or no way attitude is not a good way to start out. He needs to understand you need your support team just as you have to understand he needs his. I feel you are not ready to move in together at this point and it may be best for you to continue how you are for a bit longer. It is very stressful and you don't want your relationship to fall apart so you both have to be willing to compromise at some point. But I wouldn't make that move,  I already did that and I struggled so bad,  was miserable,  and it just got worse and worse. We got through it and are on our third baby but it was all me giving and not him. Now he gives also and we are better but don't do something that you don't feel right about.

Answer

I know where you're coming from because I had to move with husband to another state. We have no family here whatsoever or any friends, we're completely alone. But you have to make some sacrifices too for your husband.. I have 2 daughters and I'm expecting a 3rd in November. My mom will be here for the birth and for maybe 2 or 3 days. So maybe your mom can do that. It is kinda I don't want to say selfish but kinda unfair that you don't want to move with your husband when the baby is both of yours. Your hubby should be your main support even if he doesn't know what he's doing 😂

Answer

If you're married your job is to follow your husband. With that being said. Can anyone from your support come with for a couple weeks. Mother? grandmother? Sister? Cousin?
Can someone from his family come and visit you? His mother? Sister? Aunt? And bond with you before labor? To help you feel more comfortable with them? 
 And yes his fmaily is now your family not in the same manner as your is who you have know your whole life. But in a sense of I have a whole life time to get to know these people and make binds forever. Your child is party of their family too. I've only met my husbands extended family once and they're nothing but good people.

Best of luck💚

Am I being selfish?

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