Tired

Im tired and frustrated. I have been trying to fight the tears, but I couldn't this morning. My expected AF is in 2 days, I took my first hpt last night, saw something faint, but cramps are here this morning. After a CP last month I feel like I can't trust a positive result even if I get one. I'm tired of BFNs. My husband doesn't understand, nor do I feel like explaining my emotions to him right now. I cooked breakfast, then skipped out on it so I could be alone to cry. I'm overwhelmed this month, feeling like giving up. Just wanted to post here with people who understand what I am going through.