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Going out of my mind

I'm feeling so lost and conflicted this week and I am not sure how to manage this right now. I'm home by myself needing to do work after a conference this week and I'm completely overwhelmed with worry. I'm around 7 weeks and I'm so anxious that I can hardly contain myself. I just want to lay down and cry. My appointment is coming up in about 10 days and I've been so anxious that I can barely function.

I've had two scares in the past two weeks and now I'm just feeling a horrible sense of foreboding. I feel like if I didn't post this anonymously I would just be judged and ignored.

How in the world am I going to get a grip before this weekend and hide this from my in-laws, who we are telling once I'm 8 weeks, all weekend? I can hardly stand myself and just keep praying and praying for my little wonder pregnancy.

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