I had a m.m.c in October, I was suppose to be 12 weeks. We tried for two years, so the second I found out I started knitting this blankie. (Actually I made a practice one first and then started this one with soft yarn) when we lost the baby I put this away and didn't look at it. I was so broken and hurt. When I found out about this pregnancy, my instinct was to start knitting a blankie. But I couldn't face this one. The thought of it was terrifying. I needed to use the needles still attached to it, but I couldn't bring myself to bind it off as if I touched it, I would somehow have another m.c. and go through all of that pain again.

But today I decided screw fear, screw what ifs, screw worry. I'm going to enjoy where I am just like I enjoyed where I was. I'm starting a new blankie today at 6 weeks exactly. Screw you brain!