I have terrible anxiety, to the point that I require medication to calm down. My attacks are usually triggered by my thinking I've done wrong in any situation.

My husband has been understanding of my anxiety, and often helps talk me down. Lately, though, it's things my husband says that are tripping me out...or so I believe. A few weeks ago my husband commented that he hates how I clean and how I never let him have a "spot " in our home. He says I put away things too much.

Some background, I am a bit OCD, but I love a tidy house. I can't stand clutter. My husband is, well, a slob. He leaves trash on the floor next to the trash can, if he spills a drink, the mess gets left on the table, and he will leave dirty boxers on the bathroom floor, just some examples. I hate his laziness when it comes to cleaning. My hubby told me to stop picking up after him. I asked him of he'd clean up after himself and he always says "when I get to it." Which never happens, so I clean up after him, and then my hubby gets mad, and then I become fearful of him.

Back to the comment a few weeks ago, he said I clean too much, I move his stuff, and it's all been annoying him for the past 2 years. 2 years?! That got to me because if a habit of mine annoyed him for so long but he didn't tell me, does that mean he's built up some resentment to me? The thought absolutely devastated me and I can't get this out of my head.

Ever since I've been tripping over myself to make sure everything in the house is done his way (so he wont get mad at me), which means the house is a huge mess. The mess is making me so anxious! I just pace the house looking at crap everywhere, but I'm so afraid to touch it for fear I'll add to my husbands resentment of me.

Just tonight I messed up and moved his powerade to a coaster and I cleaned up dinner leftovers too quick. He got mad saying I wouldn't even let him eat. I didn't mean to and I apologized. Well, now I've been freaking out all night that "something is in the wrong spot " or I'm messing up. He asked me to turn the TV down while I was attending to the baby. I said yes, but continued with the baby. 3 minutes later he says louder (and noticeably more irritated) turn the TV down. I got so nervous over the tone of his voice and the sharpness of his voice, I turned the TV off, left the room, and I'm currently laying on the couch.

I can't figure out what my problem is. I want to please my husband, but his preferences (and responses to my action or inaction) are rattling me to the core. I'm convinced I keep messing up and I fear doing something else wrong. Why the hell did he keep something that upset him a secret for 2 years? Now, I'm trying to do everything I can to make up for these past 2 years of apparent wrongdoing. I'm literally tripping over myself in my attempt to stop fucking up but I'm in constant state of panic that it might still be not enough or not what he wants . I'm exhausted and I just want to cry all the damn time. What do I do?