so this morning I woke up, still very fucking tired. My fiance laid on top of me and started kissing me. I was laying on my tummy. Every morning I have this huge need to go pee when I wake up. But I was still so tired I tried my best to go back to sleep and pee later. I didn't feel like getting up. And I told him to get off of me cause it was making me uncomfortable cause I needed to pee and I couldn't breathe with him on top of me. I'm 19 weeks pregnant he doesn't need to be putting all his weight on me while I'm laying on my stomach. After that, I laid there trying to fall back asleep for another 20 minutes. I couldn't, tv was loud and I couldn't stop thinking about needing to go pee. So I got up, went pee, and stayed awake after that even though I was still tired. And he's been pushing me away all day, acting weird, not letting me love on him. And I asked him what's wrong baby and he just said he was tired got he got no sleep. Then randomly he starts saying all this shit, how I don't let him touch me anymore and lying about needing to go pee cause I laid down for a couple of more minutes. I tried telling him I wasnt lying I just was still very tired and tried going back to sleep. He said I yelled at him to get off me but I don't recall that, I just remember asking him to get off cause he was making me super uncomfortable. He's still pissed and cried over it. He never cries. I'm the one who's a cry baby.

Now he's asleep and probably won't wake up till tonight so I can't talk to him, I feel really bad. I made him cry cause I asked him to get off of me cause it was hurting me. Ugh.

I have no idea what to say he just thinks I'm lying to him. He's starting to feel really insecure lately, I have no idea why I tell him every day I adore every inch of his body, flaws and all. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm the one who should feel insecure. He never compliments me anymore all he does is point out my flaws. Like; your makeup is messed up, your face is breaking out, fucking jiggling around my fat all the time, you're sweating your makeup off.. Keeps talking about porn stars to his friends when he knows I hate it. And he's insecure? Psh. I don't feel beautiful anymore. He just keeps putting me down and I'm pregnant. I want to feel beautiful not insecure. It's not like I'm pointing out how he's gaining weight, pointing out his stretch marks, talking about how hot this male porn star is, no. I don't do that. I tell him every day I think he's perfect the way he is. I would love him if he weighed 600 pounds and had a million stretch marks and still think he's perfect. I don't care. I love him. He doesn't do the things I do for him every day and he's some how insecure. I don't understand. I mean I never bitch about how low he makes me feel cause I know he will make me feel worse in the arguement.

I just want to make him happy and I feel like I'm incapable of doing that... I'm constantly doing something wrong, I'm always upsetting him, I apparently never do anything right cause that's all he points out. You're doing this wrong. Never you're doing such a great job taking care of me and making me feel loved. I do everything I can. I spoil him. if I do anything nice it's not appreciated.. But I do anyways cause I like being sweet to him cause I feel like I'm giving him what he deserves. it's not enough. He doesn't do anything for me. Yeah the sex is great but I want to be called beautiful sometimes too you know. I don't want to be only called a slut during sex... You know. I want flowers, I want dates, i want him to want to go with me when I go grocery shopping.. I want him to include me in things.. It's the least he can do since I work my ass off for him every day while he sits on his Xbox.