Sex Frequency?

Question

Hi,

My fiance and I seem to be at ends when it comes to the frequency of our sex. He works part time at Home Depot and I work full time in a security position. I have a very high sex drive. I prefer daily, but I'm also satisfied with every couple of days. Now him on the other hand seems to be only interested in once every couple of weeks. However, he masturbates almost daily. I know it's not for lack of emotional affection or satisfaction when we genuinly have sex because he seems pretty wiped out by the time that we finish. He says it's because he doesn't have the energy for actual sex. I guess I'm just looking for some perspective. I'm trying to be understanding, but it kind of hurts my self esteem when I try to initiate something and he'd rather watch a program together instead. Is this normal?

Answer

My husband is kind of like that sometime it's quite a few times a week others it might just be once every couple weeks. I use to be upset and get my feelings hurt (he's never turned me down if I want it be just didnt start it often) but we talked many times about it and made a compromise we will have sex at least once a week so I feel connected to him and sometimes it's more than that ? but he has reassured me it's nothing to do with me, he just doesn't find sex to be a way of connecting like I do, he loves to just sit and watch movies with me in the room and that is how he connects with me. It's weird but that's just how he is and I've learned that so I don't get upset anymore. He loves me and that's really all that matters.

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We're we separated at birth? It's the exact same for me.

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I think too much self-love may get in the way of a sexual relationship. Maybe he's de-sensitized to what sex is supposed to really feel like, therefore spends his energy with himself. I dunno, just a thought.

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My ex and I maybe had sex 12 times the year and a half we were together he just wasn't into it either in the end that was a major factor in our split

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My bf is the same way. I also have a very high sex drive. And he doesn't. And i tell him all the time that it hurts my ego and self esteem. And he tries, but he really don't want sex as much as me.  I'm with you, i just don't understand.

Answer

He also doesn't like doing foreplay. It's like he just wants to get it over with when he starts but by the time we finish he's more into it. Idk, it just feels like there isn't a whole lot of passion in it.