Another rant

Ik I have a lot of baggage. I mean I have been in foster care since I was 4. Was abused, raped, bullied, and watched 7/10 of my friends commit suicide. Everyone who has ever said they "loved me" has left me. Even my foster mom of 13 years kicked me out as soon as I turned 18 so ya I have baggage. And people think that I'm the way I am because I want to be. No I'm not. I hate how I treat people. I hate how I feel about myself. And I'm trying to change. But it is hard when all you've ever known is too push away the ones you love I hopes you won't get hurt again. And I've been with my fiancé for almost 9 months. And we've gone through hell already and people keep telling me I'm too young to tie myself to a guy. And maybe that's true but I believe he's my soul mate. Ya I am an 18 year old girl with lots of problems does that mean that I don't know what love is? Ya I'm not the prettiest. In my opinion in ugly as fuck. But my fiancé loves me for me and I don't know why. But to continue to hear that I have to much baggage and I'm dragging him down hurts so much. I'm already scared of getting hurt and he's the only one I've opened up too in a long time and I'm sick and tired of hearing shit about me and him. On a daily basis I hear your too ugly for him, or your relationship is toxic and won't last or your too young to know what true love is. That's bullshit. I know what love is. Because unlike most people as a child I didn't have it. And the way he treats me and looks at me I know that it's true and that's all that matters