Just venting

My ex told me she didn't have no respect for me for a year in a half because I was mean and had an attitude. And the girl I thought she left me for are not together because the girl is not gay but my ex did like her and they would be together today if the girl was gay I mean I did miss her and thought about getting back together but I guess I just needed to hear that from her own mouth because now i don't want her back