Scared to test

Im scared to take a test because ive been trying for awhile now and the let down sux. Im 17 dpo, and im due today but nothing so far. Ive gotten into the mindset of i know its negative. Right now, im like eff it imma test to get it over with. I guess ill no by morning. Im at work and i know the store is open all night. So im gonna try an hpt. I have to know. ??