First time mom here and I'm feeling super down.  I have 5 week old twins and I just attempted to do a 3am feeding by myself.  I do plenty of them by myself but the night time ones are terrible, probably bc I wait till the last second to get the bottles started in hopes they may sleep longer than 3 hours so I can catch some sleep too. Anyway, so long story, my husband doesn't seem to like our babies. He's always wanted kids and he keeps telling me what a bad dad he is and that he just can't deal with all the crying and not being able to communicate, he's been home for 2 weeks to help me but honestly it might be better with him at work and I hate saying that but he's so miserable and always seems frustrated with the babies. He helps, he feeds them etc but he doesn't enjoy being around them and feels bad about it, making me feel bad. So we faught about that today, huge fight, he said he feels like a hermit bc were stuck in the house all the time even tho I've had him leave us and go hang w his friends numerous times in the last few weeks so he doesn't start to resent the babies even tho i also make sure to remind him that he needs to be more responsible with them and that even tho he doesn't want his life to change, it has, in a very drastic way. So anyway, back to my original story, I just did the three am feeding and one of my babies has been so fussy for the past 3 hours, I got no sleep at all and for the first time I got angry, didn't last long I realized I was angry and took a breath but Still.  He was crying, I change his brother and his brother pees all over himself. So while I'm trying to change 1 w pee everywhere the other is SCREAMING for a bottle. I tried to feed them both at the same time and that turned into a disaster too. I have to hold both of them after they eat bc of reflux and so I like rushed through their feeding didn't burp good enough and received spit up in return... Duh. Of course that would happen, so I'm feeling like an asshole, a bad mom, a bad wife. I don't really know how to deal with all this. Can anyone lend any advice?