Feeling lost/ confused
I was hesitant to post my story, but I've decided to in hopes that someone who has maybe had a similar situation, and has some hopeful advice.... Or maybe just to vent and have women who understand since none of my family or friends have really been through anything like this. I'm going to type my whole story ( and it's pretty lengthy, so thank you to those who take the time to read it ) but I feel like details are important and maybe someone has similar details and can offer some insight.
So here we go.... 5 weeks ago today My husband and I lost our first child, our 16 week baby girl, Sadie. It all started when I made an appointment on a Friday morning because I was having concerning discharge. From what I remember at the time it was a yellowish, but something I never had before, I don't remember having any pain, and I certainly wasn't having burning when I urinated. So I assumed I had a UTI and went in. They did a urine analysis and I tested high for bacteria immediately. I guess they have to send it out and wait for results to see if it's a UTI. I was given antibiotics and sent home. I continued with my weekend feeling very hopeful. Throughout the weekend the discharge progressively got worse and turned into more of a pink- tissue like discharge. I was also staring to have inconsistent pains in my abdomen. One so bad that it would wake me from my sleep. This all seemed very alarming to me, and although they could be signs of a very bad UTI , I decided to call the on call doctor. She instructed me to find some pyridium ( the active chemical in AZO or any other UTI pain reliever. She said if the pain was still there the next morning that the pain was not from the UTI and that she would meet me in the ER the following morning. ( office was closed due to Memorial Day) Sure enough, pain did not go away, if anything symptoms got worse. That day in the hospital another urine analysis was taken, among ultrasounds etc... The baby looked ok and I was sent home with a stronger antibiotic. There was word that my cervix may have looked short but at my follow up appointment the next morning at the regular office, it apparently looked long. I was however feeling a little better and my doctor and I were both relieved. About 6 hours later I was shivering cold and had a fever. Almost flu like symptoms. I was sitting on my deck when I felt a gush. Part of me chalked the fever up to the infection and perhaps the gush was the infection leaving my body ( trying to stay positive of course ) .... Knowing that a UTI can progress into a kidney infection, we called the on call doctor again. My fever wasn't " high enough" for a kidney infection, said to call back if it raised. He also asked if we though my water has broke and that wasn't something that crossed our minds, because why would it? I went to sleep and woke up an hour later sweating, fever raised, and in pain. I looked at my husband and told him I knew this wasn't good. So once again we went to the ER and was sent up to labor and delivery. There was now blood drops in my urine , no longer the " pink tissue ". We spent the night in the room, the resident obgyn did an exam and an ultrasound , and after authorization of the one doctor in my practice , I was sent home still with fever and pain even after Tylenol. The doctor told me the pyridium ( which I wasn't even taking ) could cause my urine to be red looking like blood and instructed my husband and I not to have sex.... Which we hadn't been for quite a while. I was told to come back if the blood started to fill a pad. So that morning we left the hospital. I didn't feel comfort em with this so I called the other doctor in the practice and she had me come into her office immediately. During the exam she could see instantly that my cervix was shortening. She sent me right back to the hospital, adding she couldn't believe I was discharged. I bled through my pants on the way to the hospital. I passed several blood clots while waiting for the high risk doctor to come in. One so large I thought it was the baby. The high risk came in, did the exam, said I had insufficient fluids and it didn't look hopeful. He told me we could "induce labor and get it over with ". I was not ok with that opinion and waited in the room until my own doctor could see me. Together we decided I would stay overnight ( at this point I was also put on an IV antibiotic) and see if the infection cleared and if fluids replenished. We didn't want to give up. That night the pain ( which had been contractions most of this time) had worsened and when the resident came in to do the ultrasound, all fluids were gone. Which means the baby cannot survive in the womb. So it was officially the end. I sat in the bed that night with antibiotic and pain medication and if the infection cleared by the morning I would have a D&C, unless I delivered before hand. The infection cleared and that following morning she was taken. 😢😢😢😢. I didn't hear until after that I was "septic". Leaving the hospital that day my doctor told my husband we could try again in 2 cycles.
About a week later I had a follow up appointment with her , in which she met me in the parking lot of the office to speak but I couldn't bare stepping foot into that office. She prescribed me anti depressants and mentioned that i would have to wait 7 months to try again. This was different news than she had given us at discharge. Then she explained that her and the high risks aren't sure if they want to consider this a miscarriage or a septic abortion. ( I cringed when she said it could be considered that) My obgyn seems to think that this was just a freak infection that causes all of this and that it's unlikely to happen again. A doctor friend of mine ( not an obgyn but a urologist ) believes the infection had to have gotten in somehow , and could have by having an incompetent cervix. So either I had a crazy freak infection that causes preterm labor, or I have an incompetent cervix that became infected. I have no idea where to go from here... I'm just waiting on my first period, wondering what doctor to see from here.... Wondering if I shoud I wait 6 months ...wondering what the harm would be in treating me as if I have an incompetent cervix i. The hopefully next pregnancy as a precaution. Has anyone had anything like this happen?! If I began to wrote all my emotions on this you'd be reason for hours more. Maybe another post, another day. But I thank anyone who took the time to read this. ❤️
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