Can you get over cheating?

Question

For anyone who has been cheated on, do you ever get over it?? Every time thoughts of him with her come up I want to break up, I want to rip my heart out. If I see something sexual, my brain immediately imagines him and her fucking. I can't get over it. I've been trying but I don't think I can. And she comes up on my mind every time we have sex. Some days are ok, but when I think of her, I just want to break up.

I know he would never sleep with another woman again, he's incredibly apologetic and the circumstances are such that I know he wouldn't. But u just can't get the terrible thoughts out of my head. Does it ever get better???

Answer

He's 100% responsible for his actions. He made a choice to do it once and he's fully capable of doing it again

Answer

There is a reason they cheated. Who's to say they won't do it again? My trust would also be out the window.

Answer

95% of the time, if someone cheats they will do it agin. But if he is really apologetic and sorry for he did I can understand staying. I stayed with my ex for a year after he cheated. I never got over it and became super jealous. I hated him and loved him at the same time. In the end it was best to break it off because once the relationship was over I felt free from the terrible jealously.

Answer

I think that you need to really listen to yourself with this. Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that he won't do it again, and there's also no guarantee that you will be able to let it go if you stay with him. Give yourself a good amount of time to find out if you're really going to be able to handle this. If you're not sure, then you may need to get out of the relationship. It's your choice, but you need to find what's going to be best for you.

Answer

I say your happiness comes first. He could've kept you happy and kept the trust but he threw that away when he cheated. You're obviously not completely happy right now and you don't deserve to suffer emotionally for someone else's actions EVER. Relationships are based on trust, if the trust is broken even once, then the relationship is honestly never the same. You owe it to yourself to get out and find someone who can be 100% loyal to you.

Answer

I think it's something that can be worked through under certain conditions. 
1) both people have to want it, really really want it. 
2) if it's something that was a complete and total mistake in his heart, something was wrong in yalls relationship where both of y'all weren't giving it 100%, and you both realize that you have to work really hard to make it work. (No, I am in no way, shape, or form justifying a cheaters actions, it's wrong; but sometimes you have to ask yourself, "okay, what did I do wrong to get us to this point", if it's something you want to work for.) 
3) if and when you do decide to forgive him, you have to truly honestly forgive him. It's something that you have to 100% let go, and move on from. You can never throw it in his face after you decide to forgive him. Because at that point, you chose to let it go. So it's not something you can ever use as ammo ever again. 
I do believe that there are certain situations that a relationship is failing on both sides. And though cheating is never ever the answer, it's not always the total end. But if a certain person is a habitual liar, or repeat cheater, or had a full blown relationship behind your back, that's no longer a mistake. At that point, I feel like the person is more sorry because they get caught. Not because they want to make things better.

Answer

I was cheated on and every time I was with him I thought of him and the girl and I couldn't do it. I felt dirty and like the girl was inside of me in some way. I didn't trust him and I lost all respect for him. Plus he worked with the girl so I knew he would see her everyday and I knew it was bound to happen again and of course it did. I forgave him but I'm never letting him back in my life. I've blocked him off everything and I deleted his number so I wasn't tempted to contact him. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to I'm here. Just know you're worth so much more and you deserve a lot better.

Can you get over cheating?

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