"Making it about race"

T
"When eleven police officers are shot, white people immediately assume it's a response to the repeated police killings of unarmed Black people, but when 136 Black people are shot by police within a 7 month span, it's just a coincidence. Oh." 
- Rachel McKibbens
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Y'all I'm tired. It's been less that 24 hours and I am tired of having to defend my right to react. 
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Philando Castile was killed in my city. I have relative who work on the police force in dalls. Last year my friends nearly died getting shot at by white supremacists while peacefully protesting the 4th precinct.
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I am allowed to be afraid. I'm allowed to be angry. I am allowed to express my emotions.
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I do not need you to police my reaction. I do not need you to quote statistics at me to prove that my fear is irrational. It's not. 
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These killings by police and of police are not calculated; the are a product of fear. And they only grows more fear and while there is this distrust, I know I am not safe. That nobody is safe. Because anything can happen when everyone's afraid.
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The answer is not to tell me to trust authority. The answer is not to tell me to forgive and forget. I know "not all". It there are still enough that people are dying at the feet of authority who are supposed to protect them.
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And I know it's not only black people. And it's sad regardless of race. And I have to clarify this because if I pray for black bodies to some of you that means I don't care about anyone else.
Because all the good wishes directed at black people are detailed until they're somehow made to be about someone else.
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I have never wished anyone ill (except for Mollie in 5th grade, and Sarah in kindergarden, and Azaan who is a manipulative little bitch). I will stand by anyone on this app who needs it, but today? I need it. And I would appreciate if this post could not be a battleground. 
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I would appreciate it if here we don't criticize black fear, black sorrow, black boys, black language, black mothers, black movements, black celebrities, black statistics...
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Can we just lean on eachother on this post a little bit? Please?
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- tij.

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