Baby due in 3 months, my marriage failing. Where do I go from here?

Question

My husband of a year and a half and I are expecting our first baby in October. My husband has been struggling with major depression lately and has been questioning everything-our marriage mainly. He has admitted before we even got pregnant that he doesn't feel fit for relationships (I was his first...ever!) and that has come up more and more. He's said things like: "I feel this is all a lie" and "That baby isn't even mine, it's just what you wanted, so I gave it to you like everything else" and "I don't want to be married. I just want to be single".

I've been really hurt by these words. But forgiven him and tried again and again. He wanted to leave 2 weeks ago, but I convinced him to stay. He's still "figuring out what he wants" and hurting me in the process.

--My question is this: How do I hold on to something/someone who doesn't know if he wants to stay? How do I not get more broken hearted thinking about having life as I know it change completely, and raising this baby boy on my own? 😔 Or on the other hand...forgive him if he wants to stay and have a normal marriage after all of this???

Answer

You can't and shouldn't hold on to someone who wants to stay. It's only going to confuse him more and make him resent you. He needs to make the choice to be there. I'd let him go and figure himself out. If things are right between you he will realize it and come back, in that time you can decide what you really want and if you can forgive. But nothing good will come of trying to manipulate a person into staying. I'm not sure how you guys ended up at a point where he married you while not knowing what he wants or if he truly just wants to be single. However you deserve better than to have someone "faking" a life with you. That won't make either of you happy.

Answer

Even tho it may be hard let him go. He has expressed his true feelings to you. Nevet hold on to a man that doesnt want to be held on too. It will only bring you more and more pAin in the future. Eventually you learn to hate him you dont need to be feeling this way in the most important time of your life.

Answer

Sweetie if he didn't wanna stay you can't make him honestly and I know it's hard but I promise it'll be easier for you and the baby cause I don't want you to stress cause stress hurts/affects the baby and that's not good I used to stress a lot when I was pregnant but I would always take a picture and smile with my baby bump and it would always make me feel better cause seeing myself smile made me happy/overjoyed but what I did might work for you and my fiancee told me to tell you that you should talk to him and see why he wants to leave 😍 I hope my advice works sweetie and if you don't wanna take a pic you can loo at mines 💕

Answer

Honestly, once you have this baby you will have no patience for his crap. I know that seems impossible, but you will have a perfect beautiful being to take care of and his bs will no longer seem as important. I realize that sounds harsh but he is either genuinely telling you he wants out (which if so, you gotta let him go) or he's manipulating you with this woe is me, marriage is so hard, I must be free stuff. Either way you can't do anything but not hold him back.

Answer

Im sorry about your situation pretty girl😞. I Just remember this quote that my mom had at home and I always love it. And I know it might be hard you being pregnant, but you also have to think about you and the baby. What's going to be healthier for him? Being with a dad that it's confuse or being just with mommy? Let him go! He might need the time to re-think and if he really loves you he will come back. But remember in any case I think you guys will need to look for counseling. 🙏🏽 wishing you the best.

Answer

You deserve to be happy. Let him go and figure out what he wants. This should be one of the most exciting times of your life, but instead you seem miserable. Maybe he needs to see a doctor and be on antidepressants? Or maybe he's just really nervous about being a dad? Couples therapy works for some people. Good luck.

Answer

Let him go girly. You can't convince someone to be with you and if you do that wont really be with you

Baby due in 3 months, my marriage failing. Where do I go from here?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey