Two consecutive miscarriages

I just want to express again how hurtful it is for me to get all excited and start spending and shopping, not one time but TWO times in a row. Just for both times to end in miscarriages. How embarrassing it is to tell close family both times and then have to give them bad news shortly after. How unfair it feels to see maternity pics and new borns and honestly can't be as happy as you want to be because the sorrow of the babies you lost is soooo overwhelming.