Why do I do this to myself?!

After being on this journey for 10 months I should know better than to test early!! I had tests in the house and of course couldn't resist. I tested yesterday at 10DPO and again today. BFN's of course. I keep setting myself up for disappointment. AF is due in 2 days. I know I'm not out yet though. I was pretty excited because I actually ovulated this month...for the first time ever might I add. I'm not having any symptoms at all though other than dull cramping which I've had since 4DPO. No typical PMS stuff. Fx AF doesn't show. This is getting harder and harder each month!!