Ideas to memorialize a loss

I had to have an abortion afew months ago. It wasn't by choice it was advised by my gyne because I had cervical cancer. I'm not coping very well. I've been so all over the place and my kids are starting to suffer because of it. I'm wanting to do something or buy something to symbolize the loss and memorialize the baby I had to let go so maybe I can move on and start living my life again and just enjoy the kids I already have instead of being stuck thinking about all the what ifs... I don't have a green thumb so planting a special flower or tree isn't such a good idea. I've done that before for one of my miscarriages and the flower died very quickly :/

Does anyone have any ideas? I was thinking maybe a pendant or something but not sure...