Abusive relationship or no
Not physical, but mental/emotional. I'll say my boyfriend although we are separated at this time. My boyfriend is in the military so he's been gone since October and only has been home 3 times since then for a week and a half at most. Before he left everything was amazing when I was able to go to his house every day. For about 3-4 months we could only have letter communication so everything was fine. Once he got home for a break of a week and a half we fought the entire time which is completely unlike us. He left again and we were able to video chat now. I was still in high school at this time but I would stay up until 3-4 am to video chat him like he wanted (because time difference) then I'd wake up for school a few hours later. After school he would be mad if I napped because then I would be napping when he got released but if I didn't I would want to go to bed early and he'd be upset I wouldn't video chat late. He eventually got into this stage of monitoring things I did sort of. He would complain and be mean if I did something he didn't like but if I offered to change it he would say no so it wouldn't seem like he was making me but if I didn't change it anyway he would continue being mean. Summer came along and I spend a few days going out with friends and one night he asked if I'd be going home soon (at 8 pm) I said no why would I and he got mad because I had "been with friends late for three days in a row" I ignored this too. I had my open house so I was busy all day and unable to text him back and he got extremely mad. But he does things when he's mad where he will send tons of texts saying he loves and misses me until I reply then he gets mean with me. So I broke up with him because I was tired of the treatment. He informed me that if I so much as go out to eat with another guy before he gets home, even if we are broken up, he will tell everyone we broke up because I cheated on him. He's very belittling as well.He'll say a bigger word and then laugh and say things like "you do know what that means right" and no matter how much I insist I do he will still give the definition. He wasn't like this until he left. He posts all over the Internet about bad girlfriends and doing more for others than they do. He texts my dad and cousin constantly to make plans for when he gets home. My dad has cancer and had a surgery a few days ago and this guy had the audacity to text my dad the day before, ask how he was, and when asked in return whine and moan about me breaking up with him a month before. He says he loves my body but only says it or compliments me when I say "I hate ___ about me" then he all of a sudden loves that part. But only then does he. He talks down on me constantly but never directly, so it doesn't seem like he's doing it. When he's home he'll go a bit without texting then say "I'm hanging out with a friend, talk later" then hours later will tell me he had hung out with a girl, I'll call her B. And he'll say "hey! Just went to the movies/dinner with B" or another girl who we will call J. He won't say he's with either of these girls until after he's done hanging out with them though. Also we've been together for quite some time and we're together for a while before he left but we've never been on a date. Never been out to eat or to the movies with just the two of us. But he has been with both of those girls separately. I just don't know at this point if this is toxic or not. He's my first love, took my virginity and I took his, i don't know if it's worth it.